


This Love Should Not Be Hidden

by PalavaRakkaus



Series: Hearts of Kirkwall [3]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games)
Genre: Also Merril and Aveline, Fluff, I have never touched the source material, M/M, Smut, but they have so few lines that tagging them didn't seem right
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-26
Updated: 2020-03-29
Packaged: 2021-02-28 16:55:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,694
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23330512
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PalavaRakkaus/pseuds/PalavaRakkaus
Summary: It's finally time to let everyone know that Anders and Fenris are together.Teasing ensues.
Relationships: Anders/Fenris (Dragon Age)
Series: Hearts of Kirkwall [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1639237
Comments: 38
Kudos: 117





	1. In Which Anders Wants Things

**Author's Note:**

  * For [DragonDracarys](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DragonDracarys/gifts).



> For drawing me stuff, for generally being a delight, and because the moments of extreme fluff in this part can be at least partially blamed on those "I love soft boys" comments.
> 
> This story may be somewhat confusing if you haven't read the first two parts.

She was beautiful, all tall and dark with a body that curved like a forest path, and Anders did not like the way her eyes lingered on Fenris.

Neither did Justice.

There wasn't much either of them could do about that, in the middle of the Hanged Man as they were. Anders didn't want to draw the attention of anyone who knew them, but he shifted to stand between her and Fenris as subtly as he could. In a bout of boldness, he allowed his fingers brush over the small of Fenris's back. The elf looked up, a hint of smile tugging up the corner of his pretty mouth. Anders smiled back before glancing towards the woman and meeting her eyes.

She gave him a curt nod, acknowledging his claim, and turned back to her companions. Anders felt the tension bleed out of his body, and Justice relaxed too. Fenris was theirs. Against all logic, Fenris _loved_ Anders, and no one, man or woman, human or dwarf or anything else, had a chance with this elf.

They wouldn't even dare to try if Anders could rest his hand on Fenris's hip right there, surrounded by strangers in this crowded room, Justice pointed out. If they admitted to everyone they were together, it would be easy to drive away any unwanted admirer.

No one would bother hitting on Anders either if they saw he belonged to Fenris as much as the elf belonged to him, Justice continued. It would be easy to end any unwelcome advances towards him. _Taken_ , he could say, and that would be it. And, well, if someone refused to take a hint, he knew from experience that Fenris was more than willing to defend his honour, or at least cheer him on if he chose to set a persistent suitor on fire.

Anders had thought of it before without any prompting from Justice, and the spirit knew that. Many times, he'd been tempted to tell their friends, to tell anyone who cared to listen.

They would have to do it eventually anyway; Isabela was already aware that Anders was with someone, and she would figure it out sooner or later. It would be slightly less awkward if he and Fenris could at least acknowledge their relationship on their own terms.

They would get teased for it, but in the end, he was certain their friends would be happy for them.

The more he thought of it, the more he wanted it, but he didn't know how Fenris would feel about such an idea. It would be a big change, and he wasn't sure Fenris was ready for that. He wasn't sure if Fenris would ever want that at all. Fenris was a private being, and he'd had enough trouble admitting his love to Anders; even the suggestion of admitting it to their friends could scare the elf again, and that was the last thing Anders wanted to happen. He didn't fear another slap, but he did fear Fenris would run away from him again.

"Mage?"

Anders blinked and turned to look at Fenris.

"You were elsewhere," the elf said. "What were you thinking?"

"Sorry." Anders smiled, a little embarrassed that he'd been caught daydreaming. "I'll tell you later. Our drinks ready?"

Fenris lifted a tray filled with mugs of ale. "Here. Shall we?"

Anders nodded and led the way back to the others.

All evening, Anders kept thinking about it. He came up with more and more reasons to do it—Fenris would be able to sit next to him at the table instead of on the opposite side of it, they could actually talk to each other, they could leave together and would never have to sneak into each other's homes again…

Those were small things, but they mattered.

"Anders?" Hawke said in a tone that suggested it wasn't the first time.

Anders blinked. "Sorry. What?"

"You're not paying attention. Everything all right?"

"Everything's great," Anders said, and grinned.

Hawke looked somewhat nonplussed by that. "Are you sure?"

"I'm sure." He'd made Hawke worry earlier, when things had not been so good between him and Fenris, and he didn't want to repeat that. "I'm doing better than ever. Honest."

Hawke didn't seem entirely convinced, but he nodded anyway.

"Believe him, Hawke," Varric said. He was shuffling the pack of cards. "He means it."

Anders wasn't sure what to make of that, but he didn't have the time to analyse Varric's words further, because Isabela leant closer, eyes dancing with mirth.

"You don't know how much I want to tell them it's all because of your lovely secret biter gentleman," she whispered, so close her lips brushed Anders' ear.

Anders swallowed. That would ruin his plans to talk about the whole thing with Fenris, and Fenris _definitely_ needed to give his consent before the others found out, otherwise there was no way of predicting his reaction.

"Please do not," he begged, keeping his voice as quiet as he could. "Please?"

"Since you asked so nicely." She gave him a little nudge. "But I _am_ getting impatient, darling. You have to introduce him to me eventually."

"Another round?" Varric asked.

He got murmurs of agreement from all around the table, and Anders was glad that the game continuing forced both him and Isabela to pay attention to what was going on again.

He glanced at Fenris as he picked up the new set of cards Varric dealt him. It would be good. It would be so good, if Fenris only agreed to it.

When the elf gave him a faint smile before looking away and reaching for his drink, Anders found himself feeling hopeful.

They'd built a routine when it came to leaving the company of their friends.

Anders was usually the first one to get up, either alone or, if someone else chose to call it a night early, along with them. He would wait for Fenris outside, near the door, and soon, the elf would follow him out.

Tonight wasn't any different.

Anders hadn't stood there, leaning against the wall, for long before the door opened and Fenris stepped out, already looking where Anders always was. Anders considered standing at the other side of the door one day, just to throw him off.

"Hello there, beautiful elf," he said, and grinned. Maker, he was on a good mood. "Feel like walking me home?"

"It would not be safe for you to go alone at night," Fenris said, a quiet smile curving the corner of his mouth.

Side by side, they turned to walk towards Anders' clinic. Their arms brushed every now and then, and Anders wondered if they looked like the lovers they were, close to each other as they stayed.

If he could have taken Fenris's hand and held it in his own, they would have looked like that. It would have been foolish, he didn't deny that, two grown men walking hand in hand, but that didn't stop him from wanting it. He had always been a bit of a fool.

He loved Fenris so much. It filled his chest, sometimes, made it hard to even breathe, and if he could let that out, say it in front of the world, maybe the pressure inside him would ease.

"You're thinking again," Fenris said and glanced at him. "Does it have something to do with what you were whispering with Isabela? Is it _later_ now?"

Anders almost said yes, and Justice encouraged him to do so, but they were in the middle of a Lowtown street. It was not a safe or a comfortable place for a serious conversation.

"I take your silence to mean no," Fenris stated, when Anders failed to answer.

"Sorry," Anders said. "It's nothing bad."

He caught Fenris's hand and stopped walking, and Fenris stopped along with him and turned to give him a questioning look. The street around them was so quiet and dark that they could have been alone in the world.

"You know you're the only one I love?" Anders asked. "The only one I want? Don't you?"

Fenris smiled. His gauntleted fingers brushed across Anders' cheek. "I know. You have said so before, and I have no reason to doubt you. I'm not jealous, I don't fear that one day you will elope with Isabela"—Anders snorted a laugh at that—"I simply wonder if everything is fine."

"Everything is _great_ ," Anders told him, like he'd told Hawke. "I just … need to think a little more."

Fenris looked at him for a while with thoughtful eyes, but finally nodded. "All right," he said.

Anders squeezed his hand gently. "They're all good thoughts, I promise."

Fenris squeezed back. "All right," he repeated, and leant in to peck Anders on the cheek.

The moment they were in the privacy of Anders' clinic, Fenris pulled Anders into his arms and into a kiss. Anders wrapped his own arms around Fenris's neck and kissed him back with enthusiasm.

He expected Fenris to ask again about what he'd been thinking, but instead, the elf tugged him towards the bed they shared almost every night now. He went willingly, his fingers already working Fenris out of his armour. It had taken him a while to figure out the most efficient way to get Fenris naked without spraining a finger, but now, the buckles and clasps and straps were all familiar enough that he could handle them without even looking.

He was rather proud of that.

Fenris, of course, was at least as good at getting Anders out of his clothes, and soon, they were falling into the bed, arms around each other's naked bodies and their legs tangled. Anders rolled them so that Fenris was on his back, with Anders straddling him.

"I love you," he said. He had no doubt that Fenris knew that, but he adored the sweet taste of those words on his tongue.

Fenris smiled up at him. "I love you too." He cupped Anders' cheek, his thumb rubbing over Anders' stubble. Anders closed his eyes, covered Fenris's hand with his own and allowed himself a moment to feel the silent connection between them.

"What do you want?" he asked.

"You," Fenris answered.

Anders snorted and opened his eyes. "I sort of figured out that much myself. You usually do."

He turned his head and pressed a kiss on the centre of Fenris's palm, and Fenris smiled up at him and shifted his hand to trace his fingertips across Anders' lips, his touch whisper-soft. Smiling back, Anders tightened his hold of the elf's hand and took those fingers into his mouth. It made Fenris let out a shuddery little breath before pushed his fingers deeper, very gently.

Fenris's fingers were long and slender and they tasted of lyrium as Anders allowed his tongue to trail around them and trace the familiar white lines. His eyes never left Fenris's face, and the elf looked back at him, his gaze full of desire and love. If Fenris kept looking at him like that, Anders could imagine staying like this until they were both panting and mad with need. He was already getting hard, just from doing this and having Fenris's naked body so close to his own.

After a moment, Fenris tried to pulls his fingers from Anders' mouth, and Anders let his teeth dig into the elf's skin, not hard, just enough to make his point. Fenris stilled his hand and let Anders keep doing what he wanted to do, and then let out a soft noise as Anders swallowed around the fingers.

Without a warning, Fenris lit up the lyrium, the heat of it so sweet in Anders' mouth, and it was Anders' turn to moan as he swallowed again. Inside him, Justice trembled as pleasure spread through his body and left him fully hard.

Fenris's pupils were dilated as he watched Anders, and the need in his eyes had grown into burning hunger Anders couldn't resist. He let Fenris's hand go, and Fenris immediately pushed it into Anders' hair and dragged him down into a kiss. Anders could feel him pulling the tie free from his hair and had to resist the ridiculous urge to grab the ribbon Fenris had once given him—the elf wouldn't let it get lost.

"Perhaps I should get you another one," Fenris murmured as the glow of the lyrium faded. His hand stayed in Anders' hair, and the end of the ribbon tickled the back of his neck. "Golden brown, to match your eyes."

Anders' heart did something strange and unnecessary because of that, and he told it to calm down.

"You could," he said and hoped he didn't sound as ridiculously enthusiastic as he felt.

The way Fenris laughed, his lips brushing Anders', suggested that he'd failed miserably. The elf set the ribbon to the side and gave him another slow but thorough kiss.

"Then I shall."

His hands moved down to grip Anders' hips, and Anders let him roll them over, the elf's weight familiar and so good on top of him.

"How did I ever fool myself into thinking I did not want you?" Fenris asked. "That I did not love you?"

Anders smiled up at him. "I don't understand that either, considering how lovely and desirable I am."

Fenris snorted. "Idiot," he said, and kissed Anders. "My lovely idiot. So very lovely." Another kiss, and then one of his hands reached for the jar of grease they always kept somewhere near the bed. "And so very desirable. May I have you?"

"As if you even need to ask. Take me."

With a soft hum, Fenris opened the jar and coated his fingers with grease. He reached between Anders' legs, slick hand wrapping around him, and Anders' hips rose from the bed, thrusting into the elf's hold. Fenris stroked him slowly, his grip firm and perfect, and Anders would have almost been happy to come like that.

The fingers let go of him and slipped backwards, and Anders squirmed as they traced over sensitive skin. "Come on. Just take me."

Fenris smiled at him. "Always so impatient."

"I wouldn't have to be if you were faster," Anders pointed out.

It was a perfectly reasonable argument, but Fenris didn't seem to agree. Instead of taking Anders immediately, Fenris bent down to kiss him. He pushed one finger into Anders, slow but relentless, and Anders moaned into the kiss. One finger didn't offer him the feeling of fulness he craved, but it still felt good, especially when Fenris crooked it inside him exactly the right way.

"Fenris," he murmured against the elf's lips. "If you have to do this, at least give me two. Please?"

That word had a habit of working on Fenris, and he hummed softly and pulled the finger out, only to push back in with two. That felt much better, stretched Anders wider the way he wanted. Fenris's fingers knew what they were doing, filling him with comfortable ease and touching where he needed them until he was writhing under the elf again.

"Lovely," Fenris whispered, and pulled his fingers out.

Despite himself, Anders whined. He spread his legs wider, lifting his knees up and offering himself to Fenris, body yearning to have something inside him again.

This time, Fenris didn't make him wait. The elf spread the grease over his own hardness before gripping Anders' hip and settling between his legs, one hand guiding his straining flesh to the right place. Anders took a deep breath as the slick tip touched him, and then breached his body.

He would never stop loving the feel of the first push into him. It ached a little, but in a way that made him yearn for more, always more. He held his breath until Fenris was all the way inside him, and the let it out as the elf stilled.

"Oh how good you are," Fenris whispered. "So, so good for me. Perfect."

Anders pulled him closer into a kiss, and Fenris began to move inside him, slow and easy. The pleasure of it spread though him and made Justice shiver, and Anders closed his eyes and allowed himself just to feel it, the intimacy, the love, the joy of being together. It was so good, so wonderful, so very _right_.

They belonged with each other, to each other, and at that moment, he was certain there was no power in Thedas that could force them apart.

There could not be, Justice wowed, and Anders held Fenris tighter.

Fenris's hand caught him behind the knee and guided his leg up, opening him further, and he moaned as the next push into him filled him deeper. The angle allowed Fenris to find the perfect spot, and Anders arched up, pressing their bodies even closer.

When he opened his eyes again, he found Fenris looking at him, those expressive eyes focused on his face, full of desire and love. He could only hope his own eyes were capable of reflecting half of the emotion he felt back to Fenris.

The happiness on Fenris's face suggested that maybe they were.

He called magic to his hands where they were gripping Fenris's waist, and the elf's eyelids fluttered. The lyrium all over his body lit up on its own in response, and he sighed softly.

His touch light, Anders trailed his hands up Fenris's back, fingertips following the curve of his spine, and Fenris arched into his touch and moaned, his thrusts losing their rhythm as he shivered above Anders.

One of Anders' hands danced up Fenris's neck and tangled into his hair as the other stayed on Fenris's back, right over his heart. He could hardly control his magic as it sparked and flared and sank into Fenris's skin the same way the lyrium's heat sank into his own. The whole room had drowned in the blue of his magic and the blue of Fenris's lyrium, and both Fenris and Justice seemed completely lost in the pleasure. Fenris was only capable of panting above him, the twitch of his hips shifting him inside Anders.

He let the magic fade, and for a while, Fenris stayed frozen, breathing hard with his eyes closed and lips parted. The lyrium's glow created flickering shadows on his face. Anders stroked his back and his hair, and when Fenris finally opened his eyes, pulled the elf down into a gentle kiss.

They were still kissing when Fenris began to move again. The elf's hand made it between their bodies and wrapped around Anders, and Anders arched up, crying out with the pleasure of it. Fenris gave him a slow, firm stroke, then another, and that was all it took to push Anders over the edge. His world was submerged in the combined blue of Justice and the lyrium, and all he could feel was the aching pleasure of it as that glowing hand kept touching him.

Fenris did not stop his thrusts, and each push into Anders' body sent sparks through him. He held on to Fenris and whispered the elf's name as he shuddered through the aftershocks of his own orgasm, and Fenris went rigid, his eyes falling closed as he spilled himself inside Anders.

It seemed they stayed still like that for a long moment before Fenris pulled out and the light of his brands dimmed. Anders closed his eyes and relaxed back into the sheets. His kept his arms around Fenris's sweaty back and tightened his hold when Fenris slumped on top of him. With a content sigh, Fenris wrapped himself around Anders, his head on Anders' chest. Smiling, Anders pushed his hand into the elf's hair.

He wasn't going to say this was his favourite part of sex, because he loved everything from the very moment Fenris gave him the first heated look to the point when they fell asleep, curled together in their shared bed, but this was a very good part nevertheless. Fenris was always so sweet afterwards, sleepy and warm in Anders' arms.

As he petted Fenris's hair, his thoughts returned to the incident in the Hanged Man. Fenris hadn't even noticed the woman looking at him, and if he had, he would have ignored her, but the sheer thought of someone else wanting _his_ elf made him uncomfortable.

 _Their_ elf, Justice corrected, and Anders smiled a little. It wasn't just that someone else desired what was theirs, was it?

"And yet again, you are thinking," Fenris said, interrupting Anders' thoughts. He lifted his head from Anders' chest. "Will you tell me now what it is?"

"I…" he hesitated. He wasn't sure how he should word his thoughts. "Sometimes I … I wish we could…"

When he didn't finish the sentence, Fenris sat up and cupped his cheek, a thumb brushing across his skin.

"Tell me, Anders."

He did that sometimes, used Anders' name when he absolutely did not need to, and it made Anders a little weak every time. No doubt he knew that too and did it on purpose.

"Iwishwecouldlettheothersknow," Anders blurted.

Fenris looked at him. Anders held his breath, waiting for an answer, but Fenris stayed quiet for such a long time that he had to start breathing again.

"You… want that?" Fenris asked, finally.

Anders swallowed and nodded. He thought of explaining how proud he was that Fenris had chosen him, how much he wanted the entire world to know, how much he wanted everyone else's joy and approval and maybe even envy, but he didn't have the words. "Yes," he said instead, and hoped it would be enough.

There was a short quiet moment, and then, "All right," Fenris said.

Anders blinked at him. Even Justice was stunned to silence.

"Was it that easy? You're not … scared? You're not going to argue? To point out why it would be a terrible idea?"

Fenris shrugged. "I do not find the idea terrible."

Anders blinked at him. "You … don't?"

"It is clear that it is important to you," Fenris said. "And I am not … I am not ashamed of being with you. I am … rather proud, in fact." He smiled. "What mistakes I have made, what fears I have had, and still have, I am learning from them. I have shared myself with you, and I shall be honoured to let our friends know."

Anders had to kiss him then, because otherwise he might have started to cry.

They kissed for a while, slow and easy and so very good, and then Fenris settled back on Anders' chest. Anders cradled him close and smiled at the ceiling. He didn't think it was possible to love another living being more than he loved Fenris at that moment.


	2. In Which Anders Gets Pinned to a Wall, and Hawke Is Surprised

"Are you ready for this?" Anders asked.

Fenris lifted his gaze from the gauntlet he was strapping on place and gave him a faint smile. "Not really."

They were going to the Hanged Man for a night of card games and gossip, and it had seemed logical to tell the others there, but it was obvious from the way Fenris was shifting like a restless animal that it made him a little nervous.

"We don't have to," Anders said. "Not tonight. Not ever, if you don't want to."

Fenris sighed and shook his head. "You are a selfless idiot. Don't back down for my sake. Do not pretend you don't want this."

"But you are having second thoughts," Anders said. He made sure not to sound accusing or disappointed; this was not important enough that he needed to upset Fenris.

The elf stepped to him and cupped his cheek. Anders leant into the touch, relishing the feel of the warm, rough palm and the smooth, cold metal of the gauntlet against his skin.

"I'm not," Fenris promised. "Don't worry. I know you still fear I will leave you, you fear something will scare me away, but you don't have to be so careful."

"No, that's not—"

A metal-covered finger on his lips interrupted him. "Anders, hush," Fenris said gently. "I did abandon you once, and that leaves its mark." He lowered his finger from Anders' lips and took his hand. "This will be one sign that I will stay with you, a promise made in front of the others. You need it, and I am happy to give it to you."

Anders held tight onto Fenris's hand. "Don't do it just to help me with my insecurities."

"We could argue for hours about how _your_ insecurities are created by _my_ behaviour, but let us not. I want to do this, love. I am as ready as I will ever be." He paused for a moment, gaze drifting. "A little … apprehensive though?"

Anders offered a reassuring smile. "That's all right." It seemed like a good idea to take the conversation to a lighter direction. "They're never going to let us live this down, that would make anyone apprehensive."

Fenris let out a little laugh.

"They will mock us until we want to strangle them," Anders continued, grinning.

"I know." Fenris tilted his head, a thoughtful look on his face. "And then they will tell us they saw this coming ages ago."

That gave Anders a pause. "They will?"

Fenris nodded. "There are always those who have trouble telling apart intense love and intense hate."

Anders considered that for a moment. "That's utter shit," he stated.

Fenris snorted. "Well," he said. "Look where we ended."

"Still shit," Anders said. He caught Fenris by the waist and pulled the elf into his arms. "I may have thought you were hot the moment I saw you, but then you opened your pretty mouth and ruined all that."

Fenris wrapped his arms around Anders' neck and gave a reproving tug to his hair. It felt way better than it should have.

"You are the mouthy one here, mage. I always thought someone ought to teach you a lesson."

Anders grinned, as suggestive as he could make it. "What kind of lessons are we talking here? Did you think of making the naughty mage scream your name? Did you imagine doing unspeakable things to me while I was helpless and at your mercy?"

"Insolent, you are," Fenris said, and Anders laughed.

"You like that," he said.

Fenris didn't deny it.

They walked to the Hanged Man side by side. They'd never done that; it had always felt important to avoid arriving at the same time since they left one after the other every night they were both there.

Now they could march in right next to each other. From now on, they could do that _every time_.

"How long have you been wanting this?" Fenris asked as they walked.

Anders shrugged. "I'm not sure. I've thought of it a few times before, but not … not that seriously. It never seemed important enough to bring up."

Fenris cocked his head. "What changed?"

Anders considered not explaining. Saying, _I got jealous because of some random woman you didn't even notice_ , didn't sound very good, but, as Justice was quick to point out, Fenris deserved honesty.

"Someone looked at you at the Hanged Man last week. I … didn't like that."

"Looked at me?" Fenris repeated, an eyebrow raised.

"She would have taken you home if she could have," Anders clarified. "I want it to be easier to make clear that you're not available. That I'm not available either. Justice feels the same."

Fenris gave him a faint smile. "You want an excuse to have your hands on me at all times," he teased.

Anders shrugged. "Your hands on _me_ works just as well," he said, and winked. "It may be even better."

Fenris's arm snuck around his waist and tugged him closer. "That can be arranged."

Maker, how strange it was that they could do that. They were almost at the Hanged Man, the lights of the tavern already visible ahead of them, and they could touch, could be _together_.

Anders had not wanted that with anyone for a long while, let alone been able to do it. He leant into Fenris's shoulder and tried to come up with the right words to explain how much this meant to him, how overjoyed he was, but before he could open his mouth, Fenris pulled him to the side of the street and into an alley.

Anders found himself pinned to a wall, with Fenris's mouth on his.

He didn't mind at all.

He probably should have. They weren't far from the entrance of the alley, and that in turn was dangerously close to the front door of the Hanged Man, which left them very visible and at very high risk of being caught, but with Fenris kissing him, Anders had trouble thinking straight.

The wall was cold behind his back, but the familiar heat of Fenris's body kept Anders warm as they kissed. He wrapped his arms around the elf's neck to hold him close, and Fenris made a satisfied noise and kissed him harder, tongue claiming his mouth and hands claiming his body. Anders loved it.

Fenris's lips moved to his cheek, kissing over the stubble towards his ear, the hands on him holding him firmly in place as the elf did what he pleased with him.

"You do have a thing for pinning me to walls," Anders said. "You can't deny that anymore."

Lips brushing the corner of Anders' jaw, Fenris shrugged. "That may be," he admitted, and returned to kiss Anders on the mouth again. "You like it."

"I do," Anders said, and pulled Fenris even closer. "I happen to like anything that involves you touching me."

Fenris let out a soft laugh as his lips travelled down to Anders' neck, nibbling softly, and Anders tilted his head back and let his eyes fall shut. Fenris really knew how to use that mouth, knew exactly the right places to kiss and lick and bite. Anders focused on the sensation, the warmth of Fenris's breath on his skin and the faint coolness of the tip of his nose as it touched him.

"'Intense love', you said," he murmured.

Fenris lifted his head, and Anders opened his eyes to meet the elf's confused gaze.

"Hmm?"

"'Intense love'," Anders repeated. "That's how you feel?"

Fenris brushed the backs of his gauntleted fingers down Anders' cheek. He was smiling. "Do you doubt that?"

"Nah. No." Maker, no. He could see that love in every look Fenris gave him, feel it in every single one of his touches. "But it's good to hear you say it. You love me. Intensely."

"Oh absolutely," Fenris said. His eyes stayed focused in Anders'. "First love, though. I believe it is supposed to be a little special."

The elf's mouth moved down to Anders' neck again, but Anders found it hard to concentrate on its heated touch there. Justice had gone strangely silent in his head.

"Wait. Wait, Fenris, wait."

Fenris pulled back to look at him again. "Yes?"

"I'm your—I'm your _first love_?"

Fenris smiled at him. "Idiot. Who else would I have loved? Of course you are. The first one I can remember, at least, and that, I think, is what matters."

Anders swallowed and found his eyes prickling. He had trouble wrapping his mind around that. He'd not thought he could be anyone's first _choice_ , let alone first _love_.

"First love?" he had to repeat.

"Yes, Anders," Fenris said patiently. "I am hoping you shall also be the last."

Anders tightened his hold of Fenris as Justice's delight spread through him and mixed with his own joy. "I hope that too," he said. "Maker, you need to kiss me right now."

Fenris did, both of his hands on Anders' face, all warm skin and cold metal, and the taste of his mouth sweeter than anything else Anders had ever experienced. The kiss was slow and gentle, and when Fenris pulled back, he was smiling at Anders, and there may have been the brightness of tears gleaming in his eyes.

"I want to be the last person you have kissed, for the rest of my life," Fenris whispered.

Damn him for saying things like that; it made the prickling in Anders' eyes worse. "You will be, I promise." Justice echoed the words in his head.

He tugged Fenris close for another kiss that he was certain tasted of love and happiness.

After what felt like eternity, Fenris released his mouth and went back to kissing his neck, and fantastic as that felt, Anders forced himself to be the voice of reason.

"You know, we were supposed to go inside," he pointed out.

Fenris stayed where he was, his teeth grazing Anders' skin. "Are you in a hurry?"

"No." Anders cupped the back of Fenris's head, fingers tangling into soft hair. "But if you keep doing that, I won't be in any state to make a public appearance, if you know what I mean."

"If you develop a … problem … I can always help you with that."

"Not in _here_ , for the love of Maker," Anders said emphatically. To his annoyance, Justice didn't agree with him. Sometimes the spirit's views on what was just were a tiny bit questionable. "I need to draw the line somewhere, and doing horrible things to me right next to a tavern where our friends are drinking is _far_ beyond that line on the side of _absolutely not_."

"You know I never do anything horrible to you. Only pleasant things, love."

"Pleasant things can become pretty horrible if someone catches us," Anders insisted.

Fenris hummed and nuzzled his jaw. "You may have a point," he admitted before returning his mouth to Anders' and giving him a kiss that was definitely making him stir in his trousers. Anders kissed back and pulled Fenris closer, the elf's knee fitting neatly between his legs.

He was so not going to be able to go inside anytime soon.

"Of all the things I didn't expect to see tonight, this wasn't even on the list!"

Fenris pulled back, and Anders looked over the elf's shoulder at Hawke's wide-eyed, slack-jawed face. Fenris didn't turn around, and his hands stayed on Anders' biceps, but Anders could see the faint trace of blush on his cheeks, which meant he had the decency to be a little self-conscious, his fault as the situation was.

"Hello, Hawke," Anders said sheepishly. "It's a nice evening, isn't it?"

"A nice one for catching you two at"—Hawke frowned and made a vague gesture towards them—"at whatever that is."

Fenris turned to look at Hawke over his shoulder. "It is called kissing, Hawke," he said. He must have tried to sound sarcastic, but Anders could hear the awkward trace of embarrassment in his voice.

Hawke laughed. Anders didn't. In all honesty, he was rather annoyed that Hawke had interrupted them.

On the other hand, with Hawke there, he was definitely not in any danger of developing what Fenris had so delicately called a 'problem' anymore.

"I know what kissing is. What confuses me more is why _you_ are kissing _Anders._ "

Fenris let go of Anders and turned around. "I would think that would be obvious."

Hawke shrugged. "Possibly, possibly." He grinned at them. "Were you planning to keep doing that all night, or would you like to come in with me?"

"We're coming in," Anders said. "We were already going to do that, but Fenris distracted me."

Hawke snorted and winked at him. "I can see that. Lucky you! So. Are we going then? I want to see the looks on everyone's faces!"

If they were going to be anything like the look Hawke had had on his face a moment ago, they would be worth seeing, Anders had to admit.


	3. In Which Teasing Happens, but Anders and Fenris Are Happy

Hawke entered Varric's suite first.

"Look what I found outside," he said in lieu of a greeting, pointing at Fenris and Anders with his thumb. Anders couldn't see his face, but he could hear the wide smile in his voice.

"Well, this must be a first!" Isabela laughed. "These two are walking in at the same time, and neither of them is yelling insults."

"Yes," Anders started as he closed the door behind them. "About that…"

He didn't get any further before Fenris caught him by the front of his coat and pulled him down into a kiss. It was a relatively chaste one, but based on the stunned silence around them, it got the point across.

"Oh," Anders said, as Fenris released his mouth. There was a delightful hint of flush on Fenris's cheeks, he noted. The elf looked as if he'd surprised even himself by kissing Anders like that. "All right. Okay."

From the corner of his eye, he could see Isabela throwing her hands in the air in the most overdramatic manner imaginable. "Oh I have been blind!"

Anders hardly managed to pay attention to her, or anyone else and the possibly amusing looks on their faces, because he'd been kissed. In front of their friends. By Fenris.

And he wanted more.

He swallowed. " _Please_."

Fenris touched the tips of their noses together and gave him another, a little harder kiss, before turning to face the others.

"Did I, ah, did I make myself clear?" he asked.

A short silence followed.

"Well, that was unexpected," Aveline said.

"It was," Anders agreed. He shook his head at Fenris. "You weren't supposed to do _that_."

Fenris shrugged and gave him a little nudge towards the table. "I thought it would be the most efficient way."

"The most efficient way to shock everyone," Isabela agreed. She didn't seem to be over the fact that she hadn't realised beforehand. "Yet I should have known it! Oh, I could _slap_ myself! Anders was coming from Hightown with that _just got laid_ smile on his face and teeth marks on his neck, _of course_ he'd been with our broody elf!" She leant to prop herself on Aveline's shoulder. "Shame me for my blindness."

Aveline rolled her eyes and pushed Isabela away. "Shame on you," she said, voice dry.

"You saw him coming from Hightown looking like that and didn't ask if he'd been seeing Fenris? Even as a joke?" Hawke frowned at Isabela as he took a seat across the table from her. "Shame on you indeed."

Isabela sighed. "In my defence, Anders let me call his lovely biter a gentleman, and that, my friends"—she turned to nod towards Fenris—"is no gentleman."

Merrill covered her mouth with a hand in a supremely unsuccessful attempt to suppress a giggle. Fenris looked mildly offended, but he didn't protest Isabela's assessment, only gave Anders a gentle push towards the empty chair next to her before turning to head to the other side of the table.

"Oh no," Isabela said. She got up from her seat and picked up her ale, gesturing at Fenris with the half-empty mug. "You two are adorable, and you're going to sit right next to each other." She narrowed her eyes at everyone else as she made her way around the table. "This is not a matter of discussion."

Hawke raised his hands in a placating gesture. "No one's arguing."

Fenris took the seat between Anders and Aveline that Isabela had vacated, and Anders couldn't help but to smile at him. He could have tolerated spending an evening on the other side of the table too, but it was much more pleasant to sit beside Fenris, now that he could do so.

"Was about time you two stopped being idiots," Hawke said. "We've all been waiting for this to happen for _ages."_

That got him agreeing nods from everyone else.

Fenris glanced at Anders. "I told you."

"So." Hawke leant forward to look at them both. "How long has this been going on behind our backs now?"

Varric, who had been suspiciously silent until then, answered before Anders or Fenris got to say anything. "At least a couple of months," he said.

Several jaws dropped. Anders' was one of them. Even Fenris's eyes were wide with surprise.

"What? None of you really knew?" Varric looked around the table. "What are you doing with your eyes?"

"How did you—?" Fenris looked almost offended. "I do not believe you could have _known_."

"Of _course_ I have. If you two think you've been sneaky about making each other's beds squeak, I have some news for you!"

Anders hoped his face wasn't as red as it felt.

"But—" Fenris tried.

"You've been leaving one right after the other every night you've been here. Broody has been lurking around the clinic every chance he gets—"

"I do not lurk!" Fenris protested.

Varric ignored him. "Broody has been _lurking_ , and bringing Blondie _food_ , not to mention that very obvious green silk ribbon those blond locks are tied with, and besides, the way you keep looking at each other, it's—" Varric waved his hands. "I'm not sure what is, besides obvious! You are not the master of subtlety, my lyrium-laced friend."

"It cannot be that obvious if you are the only one who knew," Fenris muttered.

Varric shrugged. "Their obliviousness isn't my problem. Come on, think about it. When was the last time you two even had a fight?"

Anders looked at Fenris, and found the elf looking back at him. Neither of them said anything, but it was clear they were both thinking of the same thing.

"In the past," Anders said, voice low enough that only Fenris could hear it, and gave the elf's knee a reassuring little squeeze under the table. "Let it go."

"Varric," Isabela said. "I envy your observation skills." She paused, and narrowed her eyes. "I don't much approve of you not telling us, though."

Varric shrugged. "I thought they deserved their privacy."

"There," Hawke said, "is a sentence I never thought I'd hear from your mouth." He turned to look at Anders and Fenris again. "So now that that's settled, can we laugh at you for being idiots for years before you figured out a good tumble between the sheets will solve a lot of your problems?"

Anders let out a defeated sigh. "Isabela first," he said. Justice did not approve of any sort of jokes on their expense, but he would have to endure it, because it was inevitable. "I kind of promised her."

Isabela's face lit up with delight, but Fenris gave Anders a confused look. "When did you promise her that?"

"A while back. Before I knew you loved me too."

Fenris's face did something strange at that, as if it didn't know if smiling or possibly crying would be more appropriate.

Isabela cooed at them. "You're adorable. Aren't they just adorable?"

No one disagreed with her, though Anders spotted a few eyerolls from the others. Isabela ignored them. She leant forward, elbows on the table, and steepled her hands.

"I'm still not over the fact it was _Fenris_ all along." She shook her head. "I never thought you'd realise _fighting_ was not the way to deal with all that repressed sexual tension."

"We genuinely _did not_ like each other," Anders insisted.

Isabela waved a hand at him. "No one's going to believe you now. So tell me, before you jumped into bed together, did you have fights that ended with one of you pinned to a wall and then you _almost_ kissed? How many times did you _very nearly_ shag before it actually happened?"

"It wasn't like that at all," Anders said. Isabela looked disappointed. "But," he continued, because she'd earned that much, "Fenris had me pinned to a wall the first time I kissed him. He has a thing for that."

Fenris elbowed Anders in the side, but the look of disappointment on Isabela's face vanished in an instant.

"Hot. But not good enough. I want the whole story."

With a sigh, Anders went through the events—the first kiss, the second one, Fenris storming off and then coming back the next evening, demanding answers.

"And then you went and—how did you put it, Varric?—made Anders' bed squeak?" Isabela focused her gaze on Fenris. "I bet you made _Anders_ squeak. With that much lyrium on you, you must be quite a treat for our little mage."

That was more true than she probably even realised, but Anders wasn't going to admit such a thing in front of anyone else.

"Please do not," Fenris said.

Isabela laughed at him, warm and amused.

"We're not giving you _any_ details about our sex life," Anders stated. "That's private."

Isabela pouted. "Come on, darling, I want something. I never got to sample _his_ talents myself."

Fenris hid his face in his hands. Anders patted him on the shoulder, though he could feel the blush on his own cheeks.

That was no doubt going to be their constant state for the evening.

"No details," he said. "I'll leave that to your imagination, as poor as it may be."

"I'll have you know that I have a _very_ vivid one," Isabela said, surprising no one. "You may regret letting me use it."

"I bet you're making up for the years you spent pretending to be enemies." Varric winked at them as he reached for the pack of cards. "It's a wonder you have time to do anything else but each other."

There was laughter around the table, but Fenris shook his head.

"It's more than that," he said softly. He was staring at the tabletop, face serious. "It's always been much more than that." He raised his head and looked at the others. "I love him, truly."

Anders' heart made a valiant attempt to beat its way through his ribcage, and Justice seemed to have lost the ability to form clear thoughts again. The private confessions of love had been amazing, perfect, but this? This was something even better than that. He was Fenris's first love, and Fenris was willing to admit that feeling out loud, in front of the others.

He pulled Fenris into an awkward sideways hug and buried his face in the elf's neck.

"I love you," he whispered. "I love you so."

"Oh just kiss him," Isabela said.

That seemed like a good idea, one even Justice agreed with. Anders lifted his head and pressed a very gentle kiss on Fenris's lips.

"You call that a kiss?" Isabela asked. "I am very disappointed."

" _Fine_ ," Anders said. He took Fenris's face between his hands and _kissed_ him, hard, tongue slipping into the elf's mouth as his lips parted.

He could barely hear the cheers and whistles around them, because Fenris caught him by the front of his robes, pulled him closer and took over the kiss. His tongue stole into Anders' mouth, and there was not much else Anders could do but to moan quietly and let himself be overwhelmed.

They were both breathing hard when Fenris finally pulled back. His hand rose to brush a strand of hair behind Anders' ear, and the look he gave Anders was full of heart-breaking love.

Hawke groaned.

"I can't take the two of you anywhere with me after this, can I? You're going to be on each other _constantly_ , and probably stop to stare deep into each other's eyes in the middle of a battle like the lovestruck children you are. You'll be so disgustingly cute and it's going to be so much worse than just watching you fight, isn't it?"

Anders pulled away from Fenris, and Fenris huffed, annoyed. "We can behave ourselves, thank you very much."

Which, Anders felt, may have been somewhat hard to believe after the kind of a kiss they'd shared only a moment ago.

"You really don't need to," Isabela said.

Aveline made a displeased noise. "They very much do."

"Shush," Isabela said, wagging a finger at her. "Weren't you the one who was praying for them to get along? You got your wish."

"I'm very happy for them," Aveline began, "and happy to be rid of the worst arguments, but it doesn't mean I want to know what they do in the privacy of their bedrooms."

"I don't think they're that big on privacy," Hawke put in. "I did find them snogging in an alley."

"Of course you did." Isabela grinned. "You've done more than just kissed in an alleyway, haven't you, darlings?"

The heat on Anders' cheeks intensified. They had. They definitely had.

"Shut up," he said and reached for the cards Varric had begun to deal.

"You gave me the permission to tease you," Isabela reminded him. "You can't take that back."

Fenris gave him a look. "You should not have done that, Anders."

Isabela laughed. "Are you going to punish him for that? If yes, then can I watch?"

" _No_ ," Anders said.

"Don't worry, Rivaini," Varric said. "Just hit the right alley at the right time, and I'm sure you'll get an eyeful."

Hawke gathered his own cards from the table and gave them a considering look. "Now that we all know what's going on and they don't have to hide anymore, I don't doubt that we'll all get an eyeful at some point. Mark my words, they'll have hard time keeping their hands off each other!"

"We could all learn something from them," Merrill said, very sombrely.

Anders was so not going to get through the night with his dignity intact.

They settled to play, but, not for the first time, Anders couldn't make himself focus on the game. It wasn't even a surprise that it was Fenris's fault. He had the elf right beside him, close enough to touch when he needed to, and their friends kept throwing looks of amused approval in their direction whenever they even glanced at each other—anyone would have found that distracting.

Not so long ago, he could have never imagined this could happen.

He was so happy that even his usual bad luck at cards couldn't ruin his mood. Neither could the constant jokes and gentle jabs the others couldn't seem to stop making. A part of him even enjoyed them; he was with Fenris, and everyone knew, and their teasing was laced with fondness.

Fenris made it very clear he would be paying for Anders' drink that night, and that, too, was something that made his heart beat faster. He liked how Fenris took care of him, even in front of their friends. It made him feel cherished, important.

He found himself touching Fenris every chance he got, a hand on the elf's knee or fingers brushing across his palm, and with each touch, Fenris offered him little smile full of warmth and love.

Isabela, of course, gave him looks of pure delight every time she saw that happening, and Anders revelled in that. He was happy, and the others were happy to see him and Fenris happy, and sitting there, next to the one he loved, surrounded by friends, he could believe that life could be good.

"Are you going to get married?" Merrill asked out of the blue as Varric was dealing the cards for another round.

Anders glanced at Fenris, ready to share his amusement for such a suggestion, and found the elf blushing more fiercely than he'd ever imagined possible.

Well then, he thought. Seemed he was going to have to propose, one of these days.

He didn't mind.

At all.

They'd gotten through a few rounds when Anders realised Hawke had been quiet for a while.

"Spit it out," Anders said. "You have something to say, and if it doesn't have something to do with me and Fenris, I'm a templar."

For a moment, Hawke hesitated. He laid his cards down and turned to look at them both. "Was it… Fenris did do something, did he? When you were … not fine."

Anders sighed, and beside him, Fenris tensed. He should have known someone would bring that up—his sorrow and pain had been too obvious to be ignored. "We had a fight. It won't happen again."

Hawke kept looking at them for a while before he nodded, then glanced at Varric. "Did you know about _that_?"

"I knew they weren't together for a while," Varric said. "And neither of them took it very well. Idiots."

"And you didn't go and smack some sense into them?" Isabela asked.

Aveline huffed. "Anyone who thinks any amount of smacking will put any sense into those two is a fool."

Varric shrugged. "Some things can only be made worse with interfering."

"I could have used a smack or two," Fenris said, his voice barely audible.

Anders caught his hand in his own and held tight. "Hey. None of that."

They got a few looks.

"Do I need to threaten your biter not to do it again, darling?" Isabela asked. Her voice sharpened. "Because I can do that."

Anders shook his head and gave her a reassuring smile. "No. We're fine. More than fine."

"See that you are," Hawke said. He turned back to them, his face unusually serious. "Both of you. Because if there are any broken hearts, I will do more than just smack you."

That got a few murmurs of approval from the others and a determinate nod from Isabela, and even Justice whispered his quiet support.

"We'll take good care of each other's hearts, I promise," Anders said.

Fenris held his hand tighter.

A little past midnight, Fenris gathered the coin he'd won—lucky bastard, Anders sort of wanted to kick him for that—and emptied his drink.

"I think it's time for us to call it a night," he stated. "Anders?" The glance he threw at Anders' direction suggested that he wouldn't regret going home.

"Sure," Anders said and tried to keep his voice casual. "It is getting late." And he was getting laid.

"What's your hurry?" Hawke asked.

Varric snorted into his ale. "What do you _think_ their hurry is?"

Hawke laughed, but Merrill looked confused.

"What's their hurry?" she asked.

"You remember what Varric said about them making each other's beds squeak, Kitten?" Isabela asked. "They're going to do that."

"Oh!" Merrill looked delighted and turned to smile at them. "Have fun!"

Anders could feel the heat of blush on his face again; he wondered if it could become permanent.

"Thank you," Fenris said, sounding very polite. He got up and offered his hand to Anders, who took it and allowed himself to be pulled to his feet. "Good night, everyone. I would appreciate if you could leave the speculation of our private matters to minimum once we have left, but I'm already aware that I'm asking too much."

Isabela grinned at them. "I think Varric is going to write your romance in his next book. We'll probably need to offer him some ideas, since you weren't sharing enough details."

Varric nodded and winked.

"Please don't," Anders said.

"No promises," Isabela said. "Have a good night, darlings. And you"—she pointed at Fenris—"no breaking Anders' heart again."

"I am very careful with it," Fenris said, voice serious. His fingers clenched around Anders'. "It is the most precious thing I have ever been given."

Isabela raised a hand to rest on her chest. "Aww," she said. "Now you're breaking _my_ heart with how adorable you are."

Anders made a face at her, but she only smiled.

Hawke sighed. "You _are_ even worse like this than you were before. We'll be missing the good old reliable fights in no time."

He got up from his seat, stepped around the table to them and, without a warning, pulled them both into a crushing hug. Fenris made a surprised noise, but Anders endured it with the ease brought by experience and wrapped an arm around Hawke's waist.

"I'm happy for you two idiots," Hawke said, his voice so low that only the two of them could hear. "Be good to each other."

Anders swallowed around the sudden lump in his throat and let the arm around Hawke tighten. "We will be. Thank you."

Hawke held on for a moment longer before pulling back and then gave them both a clap on the shoulder, hard enough that it made even Fenris wince.

"Have a good night," he said.

"Same to you all," Anders answered. He caught Fenris's hand in his own again and tugged him towards the door. "Come on, love. Let's go home."

A chorus of goodbyes followed them out of the door, and they walked downstairs side by side, their arms brushing. Maker, how ridiculously good it was to be able to do that.

"You don't know how happy you've made me tonight," Anders whispered as they reached the common room. "I never thought I could be this happy anymore."

Fenris stopped him by taking his hand. He didn't say anything, but the look he gave to Anders as he pushed a stray strand of hair from his forehead made talking unnecessary. His eyes always said more than any words could express.

Anders didn't know how long they stood there, their eyes locked, before Fenris finally pulled back.

"I shall pay the tab," he said. "I won't be long."

Anders nodded. He was almost tempted to kiss Fenris there, in front of a roomful of strangers, but he held himself back and let Fenris leave without making a spectacle out of the two of them. It was better not to attract too much attention—no doubt standing there like idiots, looking at each other, had seemed weird enough.

For the first time, Anders waited for Fenris inside. He liked that too, the ability to do that without having to hide. He had done enough of that for a lifetime; now, he was happy to make it clear to everyone that he was loved and not alone.

He hadn't been waiting for long before a man from the nearby table got up and headed towards him. Anders rolled his eyes.

"Hello, pretty little thing," the man said. "Were you waiting for me?"

Anders grinned at him. "No," he said.

Over the man's shoulder, he could see Fenris was already wading his way between the tables towards him. Fenris noticed him looking, and smiled gently at him.

"I'm waiting for my elf."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I said three more parts for this series, but last one is so pointless that I'm not wasting anyone's time by finishing it, my apologies for the inconvenience. I'll be focusing on some other, unrelated projects for a while (not leaving this ship, though), but this series will stay marked as not completed because there is a decent chance I'll come back to it.
> 
> Again, thank you for your kudos and comments, they mean the world to me 🧡 Love you all for leaving them 🧡


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